I did a sugar detox. Here’s what happened.

A couple weeks ago I was building a sugar detox for a writing job I have, creating content for health and fitness coaches.

The detox came out awesome, if I do say so myself.

It was so awesome, I was tempted to follow the detox myself… especially since my sugar intake had crept up during the winter.

Obviously, me being me, I was skeptical of the whole idea of a detox because 1) I’m naturally skeptical, and 2) this wasn’t my first rodeo in the dieting department, having done several figure competitions over the years.

But my sugar intake had ratcheted up even more over the past few days, thanks to a visit I paid to the Hannaford clearance bin during my last grocery trip.

I scored a bag of Justin’s milk chocolate/peanut butter cups, plus there was a giant bag of Hot Tamales candy. I love those. All for less than half-price!

(Seriously, though, why did I cave at the clearance counter sweets? Could it be because I felt a detox coming on? Maybe. More on that later.)

Anyway, it seemed like the perfect time to cut out sugar. So, why not give it a try?

And then, contrary to what the sugar detox recommends, I decided:

My detox starts RIGHT NOW. (No planning ahead.) This was at around 2 o’clock in the afternoon.

This is what happened.

Day 1: The First Full Day

By 10 a.m. I was already having cravings and my whole body felt like sh*t. I had aches and pains, my knees and hips felt terrible no matter how I positioned myself, I was tired, and I felt bloated and blah.

I had planned on feeling a little bad during the first couple days of the detox, but this was ridiculous.

On a positive note, my schedule had room for a nap if I need one, which was a good thing because my eyelids were drooping before lunch (homemade tacos). I really really wanted something sweet to top them off, but instead drifted off to sleep, still sitting upright in a chair.

I woke up wanting a snack. Why can’t I stop thinking about eating something sweet? I wondered. This sucks.

I ate a Dave’s Killer Bread bar, which at least had some fiber, followed by some Hot Tamales (just a couple)… and I hopped back on the program.

Went to bed feeling not that happy about how the day went.

Day 2

This was an editing day, which meant I was sitting at the desk a lot.

On a positive, after I woke up I realized I was being too harsh in my approach to the “detox.”

The goal wasn’t to completely cut sugar out of my diet.

The goal was to cut back to the recommended amount of added sugars per day, which is about 6 teaspoons (25 g) for women.

Added sugars are not the kind of sugar that occurs naturally in foods (like in fruit, dairy products, etc.). Added sugars are just what they sound like: sugar that get added to foods during processing… like in peanut butter cups and Hot Tamales, which basically are pure sugar.

It’s also hiding in everyday stuff, like my favorite Planet Oak creamer, which has 4 grams of added sugar per 1 tablespoon serving.

Anyway. My body still hurt. I felt tired after lunch so I ate a few Hot Tamales. This was going to be a journey.

Day 3

OK this day was NOT good. It was another editing day and my entire body hurt.

No, I’m not being dramatic.

My knees felt like they were alternately on fire or encircled by rubber bands, stiff and achy. My hip (which has a chronic injury) ached like a mofo.

Once I was finally able to sign off from editing for the day, I tried standing, sitting in the recliner, sitting on a regular chair, and even propped up in bed with pillows under my knees. Ouch, ouch, ouch, and ouch.

I forced myself through a short upper-body-focused cardio workout to try to work out the kinks, and then I did my mobility routine, and for a while I wondered if maybe I was coming down with something.

I’m a big believer in “energy begets energy” but it wasn’t working for me. Energy was begetting misery.

I ate some more Hot Tamales (like maybe 10?) even as I asked myself, why were they even still in the house? Why did I not throw them away?

This is actually a valid question. There’s this thing that happens with “detoxes” or “going on a [fill-in-the-blank] diet” or basically any restrictive way of eating.

You can develop a “last supper” mindset, where you go whole-hog into eating something that will soon be unavailable or forbidden, because it’s your last chance.

This can set up a mindset cycle that’s hard to break.

I’m not saying that’s necessarily what was going on with me, but I did feel a little sad about finally tossing the rest of those stupidly delicious Hot Tamales into the trash.

My mouth felt ruined from days of eating “just a few” of the hot candies. It now hurt to eat anything. Wah.

I found the heating pad and alternated between soothing my knees and hips… and eventually fell asleep.

Day 4

And then on Day 4, I finally let myself think about something I usually try to ignore. I have this issue where I minimize my Hashimoto’s/thyroid disease because basically everyone else minimizes it.

But I started to wonder if it could be one reason why my body was taking this “detox” so hard.

With Hashimoto’s disease, your metabolism and energy regulation aren’t always as steady as you think. Thyroid hormones play a role in how your body uses carbs, manages blood sugar, produces energy, and responds to stress.

Plus, there’s the whole inflammation component that lurks in the background with autoimmune diseases.

So when I went from eating more sugar than normal to “no sugar starting right now,” my body was like, “WTF, Wendy?”

Suddenly removing a quick, easy fuel source (especially without planning) can feel a lot more intense when your system is already sensitive. Fatigue, aches, cravings… all of that can ramp up fast.

During my last visit, my endocrinologist actually emphasized that I need carbs.

Which makes a lot more sense now.

Maybe the gradual “detox” approach is better? Duh.

My knees and hip were STILL sore. I drank extra water, went to the grocery store, and stocked up on healthier foods, including some amazing-looking fresh raspberries. No visits to the clearance bin.

Back at home, I took a nap, did an easy workout, and went to bed early.

Day 5

This was a training-clients day and I felt pretty good! When I was done at the gym, I felt tired and stayed tired till late afternoon, when I did a fun workout.

That being said, I started to feel more like myself. My legs didn’t hurt nearly as much. Thank God.

Day 6

Yesterday was supposed to be the final day of this “5-Day Detox.” It isn’t.

Because I’m not on a detox. There is no end date to this situation.

Instead, I’m asking myself, do I really want a throwaway ingredient — one with virtually no positive benefits and a whole list of negative effects — to have that much control over me and how I feel?

This was kind of how I felt when I stopped drinking coffee last year. That’s a long story that boils down to this: I love coffee but it did not love me back, and I had to stop drinking it. I’m still sad about it. But I feel better.

Is it worth it to make space in my eating regimen for something that has so much power to make me feel bad?

Answer: No. Not for me. Maybe for special “worth it” occasions… but not everyday eating.

I walked the dogs out in the sunshine for about an hour. I had to baby my legs/hip a little but I was able to negotiate the uneven terrain of a muddy trail through the woods without a problem, even wearing a pair of stiff rain boots.

Things were definitely feeling better.

It’s been a couple weeks since Day 6. This morning I had a chocolate-glazed donut (way too sweet!).

No regrets.

And also, I think maybe I like the idea of the donut a lot more than the actual thing… but I don’t feel the need to have another one to find out.