So the other day I had a meltdown. It was long overdue, and even though it happened more than 48 hours ago, I am still not quite recovered from it.
That’s because of my general modus operandi for life, which doesn’t allow the “luxury” of a meltdown:
- I waited too long (more than a dozen years) to have the meltdown.
- Things to melt down about kept piling on because I waited.
- I had too much stuff to do to wallow in the ever-increasing pile.
- See No. 1 above, and continue the cycle.
There’s a big mountain of unfinished business to deal with now, and while I don’t think this will be a long job, it’s time to start shoveling through it.
Because my health is involved now.
The other night, hours after the actual meltdown, I had a headache so I took my blood pressure. I didn’t like the numbers I saw. At all.
Here’s the thing: even healthy people who theoretically do “all the right things” can get stuff wrong with them. I have decades worth of an autoimmune disease in my back pocket (which I have soldiered through pretty darn uncomplainingly if I do say so myself, because why would anyone listen?). But now I’m at the age where it has lots of ripple effects, including hypertension.
If the past couple years have taught me anything, it’s that problems will continue to escalate until you decide to address the underlying issues. They won’t go away.
BTW, how weird is it I’m more scared of dealing with the health care industrial complex than I am of kicking the bucket?
Anyhoo, I realize I need to make some additional changes in my life … changes I’m not that excited about and will be railing against over the next couple days.
5 things for Friday, May 11
1. I love sugar and it doesn’t love me. When you have an autoimmune disease that saps your energy, sometimes you crave quick foods that will give you a boost (SUGAR!). But in the long run, it actually saps your energy. Yet another reason to curse the design of the human body.
2. It’s hard to write lists and blog posts when you censor out a lot of tasty morsels because they involve other people whom you don’t want to burn.
3. I once had a married personal training client (someone I inherited from another trainer who attracted a different sort of clientele than my regulars) who used to frequent an “adult friend” website at least weekly. She told me she “met” a guy on that site, drove 50 miles to “meet” him in real life, engaged in an adult-friend encounter in the back of his vehicle, and drove home. My main question, among many: what is your self-talk on the way home from that encounter?
4. I have a lot of stories. So many.
5. Is it bad I shared that one?
- 4x through:
- Leg press x 12
- Leg extension x 15
- Romanian deadlift with DB, 4×12
- Alternating reverse lunges with KB, 4×10 each side
- Single-leg hip thrusts, 4×15 each side